Saturday, April 10, 2010


I recently worked as a paralegal for a firm in a ski town in the Rockies.

After working there for about 2 months I realized that I may have jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. I quickly learned that this place is nothing more than a very expensive place for people in the program and based upon my experience, my new employers fit the bill to a tee!

One of the other paralegals was married to one of the partners. She looked like one of the guys from the band Twisted Sister and her personality was, well, she drove off over a dozen other staff members. We called her Sister Grimm.

In a town like this, it was a pretty sweet gig. She was horrid. Remember, people in the program are specifically prohibited from working in the legal industry. In this case, one of the partners was a municipal judge in the town whose police department ultimatley "investigated" their allegations of extortion and criminal libel- the exact kind of nightmarish scenario the DOJ attempted to avoid while creating the parameters of the program.

I am convinced this town will be the birthplace of the fourth Reich. (A sports celebrity may have been tried here for something which was proved to be untrue). I sense a pattern.

The relationship with the employer soured. I alleged some pretty outrageous overbilling and malpractice. The firm was being sued for malpractice so my allegations were not completely unfounded. I sent an e-mail to the firm's partners expressing some of my concerns about us nearly missing a critical deadline due to Sister Grimm's incompetence.

I got this e-mail back stating that they had accepted my resignation. I never quit, I was fired. I attempted to get the parties to enter into a separation agreement (standard shit where they would pay me the over time I was owed, etc. and we agree to not speak ill of each other - pretty important stuff considering that it was a small town.) I was also pretty active in some community service organizations and there was no way I could have survived if the venom that was being spewed by my former employer were to continue.

I was arrested and charged with criminal libel and extortion. I could have gone to prison for six years. They set bond conditions which included me not having any contact with opposing counsel of the firm. And I had to take my meds. I suffer from hypertension and ADD. Why they wanted me on amphetamines and bp meds is something that to this day escapes me. However, due to the fact that my own court appointed attorney had cases against this firm, the bond conditions would specifically prohibit me from communicating with my OWN COUNSEL!

It also would have prohibited me from seeking employment with other firms, and seeking representation from private attorneys. I got a second attorney (who is quite talented and surprised me - don't ever judge a book by it's cover - look at the track record and reputation when judging attorneys).

There were quite a few irregularities in the case which is the subject of a malicious prosecution and federal abuse of civil rights case which are being explored at the moment. Detail to follow in another post. (pretty scary shit considering that THIS IS AMERICA!)

I sat in jail for 299 days awaiting trial.

On my most recent birthday I was acquitted of all charges. The jury took an entire 45 minutes to reach their verdict.

In any other country if a gay son of a Jewish woman bastard of a president whose wife is a confirmed war criminal and escaped nazi were to be persecuted like this by his own government he would automatically be granted political asylum, even by this country. I am seriously considering this as an option as this may be the only way that my story will come to light, some very serious problems with America's dealings with former nazis will come out and dealt with accordingly.

A Freedom of Information Act request to obtain my secret service file happened to be in my desk when I was fired. My employer gave it to the DA and they tried to use it to attack my sanity. Oddly enough, it was never brought up at trial.

A grievance I had filed against another attorney for bouncing my paychecks and some act of reckless malpractice was also in my desk and they tried to use it as evidence that I was somehow a serial extortionist attacking innocent law firms to somehow extort them out of their hard earned money. Yeah.

I am convinced the DA on my case is Canadian. I don't know what she did to get run out of her own country but it must have beeeeen pretty bad. Maybe I'm wrong here but her English is has a very peculiar accent and I'd bet money I don't have it wasn't from the US.

So, I'm on food stamps, waiting for unemployment to kick in, trying to find a job and wondering if I ought to be calling foreign consulates and finding out if I actually qualify for political asylum. Ironic.

I have to think that if war criminal could escape their country and find a new home that it would be a bit easier for me to escape this shit.

By the way, the pictures still exist. They would have been released had I been convicted.


Anonymous said...

A "book deal" (script is more likely) would require verification of your claimed ancestry... got any? Blog it. I'll be watching.

everynazineedsayacht said...

Pictures pictures pictures and the requisite DNA.

I will, of course, demand proof of you biological heritage.

everynazineedsayacht said...

Oh yeah, my secret service file. FOIA the damn thing.